no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
