I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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