Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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