i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
