I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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