i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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