My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
