how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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