you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
When are your genitals available?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
