There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
