i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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