he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize