There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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