just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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