OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
