hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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