Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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