Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
