Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
