I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
