I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
