Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
