the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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