I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
