You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
