I just pynch a tree in the face
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
