What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Randomize
