Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize