I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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