Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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