If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize