We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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