Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
