is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
