I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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