Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
