marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
