Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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