I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme