Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
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