Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.