if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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