On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
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YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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