We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
