I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
