I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
