They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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