Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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