i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He had one of those small greek statue penises
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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