I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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