you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
