Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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