I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
