You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
