a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
