what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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