I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
