I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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