man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.