I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out