i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
