come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
