How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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