Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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