i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
