im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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